About Kellie B.

I'm a mom to 5 children, some small, some grown-ish, single wife to an overseas contractor, full-time Realtor, dog lover with a new addiction to my Peloton, and learning to find FITness at Forty in both body and mind.

Learning to socialize from a 12 year old

I was on my way back home yesterday on a flight from DC to Atlanta when I saw a young boy being escorted onto the plane by a flight attendant. He is what is deemed an “unaccompanied minor” by the airlines. As he walked onto the plane, I could see his face was still wet from tears he shed while telling his father goodbye. His eyes were all red, and he looked really scared. My heart broke for this little boy, and made me think of my three children I had just dropped off at their dad’s the day before.

I wondered why his father wasn’t flying back with him. I wondered why his mother didn’t fly up to DC to go get him. I know that children over a certain age fly unaccompanied all the time, and it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. This little boy seemed so clearly upset and bothered by being alone. There was another unaccompanied minor that was sitting next to him. She was a very confident looking young girl…she looked younger than he was, but I would soon find out that was not the case. The flight attendants warned both of the children to stay in their seats when we arrived in Atlanta so they could escort them both off the plane. Afterwards, there were a few moments of awkward silence. I felt sorry for the little boy…I figured he was probably embarrassed about crying and now too shy to talk to the little girl seated next to him. I felt sorry for her too. I thought she probably was scared to talk to him for fear he would burst into tears at any moment. My thoughts of pity for the two of them were interrupted by the sound of their chatter!

The little boy apologized for the crying and explained to the little girl that he was just sad because he was leaving his dad’s and didn’t want his summer vacation to end. He introduced himself as Ryan. Ryan then went on to ask the girl what her name was, and she answered. They talked about Harry Potter, iPods, Angry Birds, school, sports, summer break, where they each lived, who they had been visiting, divorce, siblings, cousins, step-parents…they didn’t stop talking the entire flight. I was reading my book and overhearing lots of the conversation because they were seated directly across from me. By the end of the flight, I was just feeling sorry for myself…I had NEVER had the courage to strike up a conversation with a complete and total stranger, and then continue that conversation for a full hour and a half. It’s not that I’m stuck up and don’t want to talk to anybody…and in general I believe that most people don’t take the initiative to strike up such conversations because they don’t want to be seen as a pest. I don’t want to bother anybody. The man next to me might just want to sit in peace and read his newspaper (most likely he does!!). That’s all I usually want too! On the flip side, I really don’t get out much and should take the opportunity to meet new people when and where I can.

All in all, it’s pretty ironic that I learned something about socializing and meeting new people from some 12 year old boy that I initially thought was a shy, awkward kid…he sure proved me wrong!

I am now “that lady”

I may have been 7 or 8 years old the first time I was exposed to breastfeeding.  I was on an airplane with my mom and grandmother and I remember seeing a woman nursing her baby.  I saw a breast, felt my cheeks flush red, and quickly looked away.  I had never seen anyone do THAT before!  What on earth was she doing?  I can’t remember if I asked my mom or grandmother any questions about what I had seen.  I was probably too embarrassed to ask.

Fast forward 25 years…I am now “that lady”.  I have flown many times since my youngest was born.  I always nurse in public while traveling…in the airport and on the plane.  I really have no choice.  When my baby is hungry, I feed him.  It really is as simple as that.  This attitude isn’t limited to our travels…it’s an everyday way of life.  I have been blessed to never have encountered any rudeness or dirty looks as a result of me nursing in public.  I’m discreet, but I will not pile up blankets on top of my baby’s head…I live in Florida where it’s hot!

Sadly, a friend of mine (who does not breastfeed) has encountered negativity–while traveling.  She was on her way home after visiting me and her 9 month old daughter was asleep in her arms in the cradle hold.  A young boy (between 8-10 ish years old) was seated next to her.  The boy’s mother made a big scene and complained to the flight attendant that she didn’t want her son sitting next to that lady while she’s breastfeeding.  My friend got a little angry.  She was obviously not breastfeeding, and lifted her baby away from her body to prove that she wasn’t, which, in turn, caused her baby girl to wake up.

All I can say is that I’m glad it wasn’t me!  I’m pretty sure I would’ve told the woman where she could go and how to get there.  I’m proud to be “that lady who breastfeeds her kid in public”.  I’ve nursed at church, the mall, the beach, various restaurants, public parks, my kids’ school, the doctor’s office…practically everywhere!

Gawk all you want…maybe you’ll learn something!

To Purell or Not to Purell

Yesterday I took the kids to Panera for lunch.  While we were sitting there eating and watching it rain outside, I hear a Mom shouting at her child as her child tore out of the bathroom, “Don’t touch anything until you’ve had your hand sanitizer!!”  There was a sense of urgency in her voice.  It was evident that hand sanitizer is a DIRE priority in her opinion.

I realized how silly she sounded when I think back to my childhood.  We didn’t have hand sanitizer.  What we did have was good old soap and water.  Sometimes just water!  I survived.  We all did.  However, I’m JUST as guilty as this anonymous mother is of slathering that stuff all over my kids’ hands as well as my own.  It’s almost as if we believe that it puts a magical barrier around our children and ourselves to protect us from what evil lurks on doorknobs, tabletops and handrails.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the conflicting information about hand sanitizers.  Does it really work?  Does it subject us to any “superbugs”?  It’s up to you to decide what and who you believe.  Here’s a few links to check out:

The Myths vs. The Facts
Hand Sanitizers vs. Soap and Water

Last but not least, here’s what the CDC has to say about clean hands and how to get them:  Handwashing 

It would seem that good old soap and water is good enough!

P.S. Hey, if you like this post…Click HERE to vote for me @Top Mommy Blogs 

Love one another?

Love one another and you will be happy.  It’s as simple and as difficult as that.  ~Michael Leunig

Yesterday in Sunday School, the lesson was “Love One Another”.  This is a timeless message that I can remember hearing since I was a little kid.  We preach this to our children as they are having squabbles with either their siblings or classmates.

Is this even humanly possible?

Musicians sing about this message (“Try to love one another right now”…Let’s Get Together by the Youngbloods)

It’s a really simple message, but much easier said than done.  In a society where we also overuse the word “love”, how can we develop a true and pure love for one another?  This same society teaches us to judge others that are too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, too smart, not smart enough, too blonde, too brunette, too tan, too white, too educated, not educated enough, too nice, too mean…the list just goes on and on.

One of my biggest questions about this lesson is how I can love somebody who has caused me hurt, or betrayed me in some way?  How can I not hold that grudge, learn to let go, and show love towards that person?  This is a big hurdle that I believe many Christians face.  I’m the type of person that won’t make a big deal out of something that ticks me off and confront you with it, but I certainly won’t try to pretend like it never happened and carry on with you as if it never did.  I am the type of person that will cut my losses and move on.  Simple as that.  How do I change that mindset and make a conscious effort to acknowledge the hurt, forgive the hurt, and move forward, all the while loving those who have hurt me?  I believe this is something I will battle for the rest of my life.

I have made mini-strides to be able to do this…I remember a lesson on prayer that taught us to pray for those who have hurt us, so they might find the Lord and stop hurting others.  Sometimes I remember to do this…most of the time I only pray for those I feel “deserve” to be prayed for.  I KNOW this is wrong.  I KNOW that I’m not the one who gets to decide who is deserving or not deserving.  I realize all of these things.  In the end, I want better for my children.  I don’t want them to see me holding these grudges, and judging other people…I want them to see me loving others.  I want them to see what a great life Christianity can provide for us.  Just since I have gotten back on track with God by returning to His house on a regular basis, I have been blessed in every aspect of my life.  My relationship with my parents has improved.  My relationship with my spouse developed and grew because of it.  I was blessed with another child.  I was blessed with the ability to continue and finish my education.  I was blessed with the right job at the right time in my life.  I was again blessed (yes…blessed) with a layoff of said job…at just the right time.  So, of course I want my children to see these things, acknowledge where those blessings came from, and want the same for their lives.

So, what have I done today to try to love one another?  For starters, I loved a complete stranger today…the cashier girl at Mrs. Fields.  It still counts, even though she gave me cookies.

How to place a “Grab My Button” code on your WordPress.com Blog

I’m sure you’ve seen lots of blogs that say “Grab My Button” and show a textbox with code you can copy and paste into your own blog to do so.  I’ve come across many!  I’ve started a new blog over at Happy Baby Chronicles and I’ve been wanting to put this capability on there for a while.  I had a few minutes this morning to dive into this task…turned out to be slightly more complicated than I originally thought it would be.  So, for those of you wondering how to accomplish this task, and to do it in the simplest way possible, here you go!

1st:  You need to have a button…typically they are icon size (around 125×100 pixels).  Once you have that, upload that image to your WordPress image gallery and make note of the URL of the image.  For example: “http://happybabychronicles.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/tristanbutton.jpg”.

2nd: Go to the Grab My Button Code Generator.  Enter your blog title, URL, image URL, and then select the border, font color, and background color, and whether you want a new page to be opened upon clicking the link once the code is copied.  BE SURE TO SELECT THE “PRE” container type if you’re using WordPress!!  The “free” WordPress doesn’t allow the “textarea” code and will simply wipe the code out without giving you any type of error message.  Basically, it just ignores that code.

3rd: You can then preview how it will display on WordPress.  Don’t be alarmed at the width of the textbox area.  I promise it will be have once you enter the code into the Text Widget on your sidebar.  Click on “Get Code”, then go ahead and copy the code that is generated and then paste it into a Text widget in WordPress.

It worked for me!!  Do me a favor and comment if you used this to help you get your own “Grab My Button”!

I got something shiny and new today!

I was so very excited when there was a ring at my doorbell and I opened it to discover a hot guy plumber holding a box containing a shiny new diamond ring faucet.  In all seriousness, you would think somebody had brought me a shiny new piece of jewelry.  I could hardly contain my excitement!!  It’s shiny (stainless), and pretty much looks alot like a new version of our old one would.  Did that make any sense?

For me? It's not even my birthday yet!

I may have to consider getting on tranquilizers should we ever replace our washer/dryer set.  I don’t know if my heart could take all that excitement!

The Dog Days (of summer) are *almost* over

Boy, this summer is sure winding down quickly.  I’ll be taking the kids back to Maryland in less than 3 weeks, and they’ll start school just a mere 10 days later!  The time has flown by again this year.  I’ve got a list a mile long of things that we need to do before they go back home…doctor appointments, clothes shopping, visits to the library, and hopefully squeezing in a couple or three more beach visits before they leave.  I’ve started on this list…Karissa wanted these “design your own” Converse All Stars, so they’ve been ordered.  She’s been poring over the Justice for Girls website all summer, carefully selecting all the clothing she *needs* for her first year of middle school.  The boys are SO much easier.  They honestly could care less about clothes and shoes.  However, Nathan has been hovering around the front door all day, waiting for the Fed Ex man to show up with his iPod Touch (his only wish for his birthday…which is August 19th).  Jacob…well…Jacob would be content with some new legos or some sort of action figurine.

I remember when it was back to school time when I was young.  I couldn’t wait to pick out my new set of clothes from the JCPenney fall catalog (I’m talking EVEN into my high school years…am I showing my age??).  It might’ve been 90 degrees on the first day of school, but gosh darn it, I HAD to wear those new jeans and new sweater on the first day!  I got giddy over new pencils, pens and notebooks!  I remember the swarm of people that would flood Peoples Drug and Dart Drug (ok, now I really AM showing my age) to pick up their packets of loose leaf paper, bottles of glue, and 3-ring binders the evening after the first day of school.  One thing that has changed for the better is that schools typically hand out supply lists before school starts, some as early as the last day of school prior to the new school year.  This at least gives parents some time to plan ahead and prepare!

Along with the end of summer also comes the end of my peace and quiet…since school is starting, so will the phone calls riddled with complaints about how “expensive these kids are”, “Don’t you know how much school supplies cost?”, and the “You really need to send me more money, who cares if you pay your child support?”  I usually just chuckle under my breath and say…”Welcome to my World…how does it feel”…etc., etc., etc.

I think the video says it all….love this song by Florence and the Machine.

The Woes of Being a Tenant

We are really fortunate to live where we do.  I love the neighborhood, and the entire area really.  We rent a nice house located about 1000 yards from a beach access.  When we first looked at the house, I felt at home instantly.  Everything about the house was aesthetically pleasing.  It was evident that the home had been remodeled.  All the bathrooms were nicely updated, and the kitchen had been updated as well.  All the floors are tiled, there’s a big pool out back, and the yard is HUGE!  There were a few minor issues that we saw upon move in that needed some attention.  Some of the window screens are missing, there was a broken pane of glass (double-paned window), the sink faucet in the kitchen was missing a piece…mostly minor things.  We’ve been here now for two years, and just re-signed on for another year.  I feel like we’ve sometimes been a “pain in the butt” to the homeowner and to our property manager because it seems we are constantly calling because something needs to be fixed.

These are the things that have had to be fixed so far (that I can remember):

-A/C – TWICE!  The first time, a couple of estimates were done to try to “fix” the cause of no air flow to the west side of the house.  One estimate said the ducting system and the blower needed to be replaced, the second estimate said it needed to just be cleaned.  Guess who won the first time?  You guessed it!  The cheaper guy, who wanted to just clean out our unit.  By the way, cleaning the unit did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the performance of the A/C.  It wasn’t long before the other company was back out here to replace the blower in the A/C.  When that helped, but didn’t actually fix the issue, another company was out here removing all the insulation out of the attic, removing all the duct work, fixing all the electrical wiring in the attic, replacing the duct work, and then re-blowing in all new insulation.  Finally, we had some relief from this Florida heat!  And just in time since I was pregnant and summer was fast approaching.

Master Toilet – Whenever the “remodel” was done on this house, whoever installed the toilet didn’t actually anchor it to the floor.  Nice job.   We had a handyman come out and fix this issue.  This is something that my husband is fully capable of fixing, but…it’s not our house, not our responsibility.

Master Bathtub – Another goof on the remodel is that when the tub was installed, the electricity that causes the tub jets to run wasn’t put on a GFI.  You would think that common sense would tell you…bathroom = water = a NEED for a GFI outlet.  Pffftt.  Who cares about code or safety as long as you’re saving money!!  Cha ching!  Anyhow, a GFI was installed, but everytime we want to run the jets, my husband has to rig the tub to turn on, and then he has to come back to turn it off.  It’s certainly not user friendly as it should be.

Slider door screens – What is the point of having screens if you can’t open your doors and use them as they were intended?  All of the screens had massive holes in them.  These were eventually re-screened (during year 2).

Pool pump – This has had lots of work done to it.  So many times that I’ve lost track.  What needs to be done is the whole thing to be replaced, instead of just putting band-aids on the issue.  We also suspect that there is a big leakage problem, causing us to lose lots of water in the pool…thereby causing us to have to fill up the pool at LEAST once a week…thereby equaling a huge water bill every month.

Solar Pool Heater Panels – This has also been looked at several times.  Despite being “fixed”, the issue of it leaking still occurs.  We give up.  The pool water is currently about 100 degrees anyways, so I’ll worry about this later.

Irrigation System – In the words of the plumber that was JUST here, the whole system is a “hot mess”.  There are busted lines, many broken sprinkler heads, and the entire control panel is blown.  My husband has put several hours and at least a hundred bucks into attempting to fix it on his own because he does want the yard to look nice.  Everytime he’d get one head replaced, he discovered another busted.  Everytime he fixed an entire section of line, another one would bust.  He kept working on it until the control panel busted, then he gave up.  Why should we give a crap about the yard if the owner obviously doesn’t?  Don’t get me wrong, we still have the grass cut regularly by a landscaper, but that is ALL we will be doing to maintain the yard from now on.

1/2 Bath Toilet – About 6 weeks ago, I flushed this toilet and it just kept running.  And running.  We turned the water off to the toilet.  This is another fix that my husband could probably have managed on his own.  However, I think we are both just tired of fixing things, paying out of our pocket, etc.  Today, finally, a plumber arrived to fix the issue.  He says its fixed now.  I haven’t checked behind him yet.

Kitchen Sink Faucet – Just Thursday evening the faucet quit on us.  No water was coming out of the faucet.  None.  My husband worked on it a little to try to get some flow because we were told that nobody could come until Monday.  I called the property manager at 9 am on Friday morning, didn’t get a callback from a plumber until 2 pm (but didn’t get the message until 4 pm).  Apparently not having water in your kitchen isn’t deemed an “emergency”.  I guess when they have to unclog my bathtub drain because of all the food particles in it due to washing dishes in the tub won’t be considered an emergency either?

Cracks in the ceiling – I ALMOST forgot. But not quite.  When the attic was being re-insulated, the workers moving around in the attic caused several cracks in the ceiling drywall.  These were fixed at cost to the insulation company.  This was actually one of the quickest, no fuss fixes since we’ve been here.

Perimeter fence – This has also had to be fixed several times.  There’s nothing like letting your dogs out in the morning to do their business, then noticing about 15 minutes later that they’re not in your *fenced* backyard.  Our gate kept blowing open, despite being locked with a padlock.  I’d go running out the front door, only to look about a block down and see my dogs doing their boxer wiggles around some poor unsuspecting neighbor, out for their early morning walk or run.  This happened at least three times.  Sometimes it was due to the gate, other times it was due to the collapse of entire sections of fence.  This is what happens when your wooden fence gets old and rots.  This was “fixed” by a handyman (not a fence company) building new gates that can no longer be opened from the outside.  Also, the gate doesn’t stand up straight now…if a fence gate could be deemed bow-legged, this would be the one!

With any home, there are going to be things that need to be repaired.  Living here has shown us that there is always something!  With that being said, the up-side to being a tenant is that the financial responsibility of fixing these things isn’t on our shoulders.  Lucky us!  However, while we can live comfortably with a few missing screens and a single toilet out of three out of commission for six weeks, it’s hard to take pride in something when the owner doesn’t seem to.

One day, when Tommy and I decide where and what we want to buy for ourselves, we’ll look back at these days and laugh.  Or cry, all the while wishing that we had remained tenants forever!

Take two Midols and call me in the morning

With my daughter fast approaching her teen years, and right smack in the middle of her “tweens”, the drama is ever ensuing at our house.  This morning, I walk into my bathroom to find a host of toiletries belonging to her on the countertop, accompanied by her used bath towel lying on the floor, and a trail of her discarded pajamas and underclothes.

“Karissa!!”, I yelled across the house.

“What?”, she yells back.

And, so the drama begins.  I ask her what all that stuff is doing there, she gives me her answer with a sprinkle of tweenage attitude, and then I. Get. ANGRY.  My head starts to roll and bob at the same time.  Then I breathe.  I’m still upset with her, but rather than yelling, I try to reason with her, and a lecture begins.  Bad move on my part.  More attitude is spewing from every pore on her body.  She is rolling her eyes, about to cry, bobbing HER head.  It is a battle of wise estrogen versus the novice estrogen.  Girl, I brought you into this world…yadda yadda yadda.  Meanwhile, had my mother not been in the other bathroom blowdrying her own hair and could’ve seen/heard what was going on…she would have been LAUGHING!  At ME!  Ha!  I think she would have called that karma.  Or paybacks.  Either way it’s a witch with a “b”.

Later (like 20 minutes later), my daughter is walking through the kitchen and proceeds to drop her iPod Touch on the floor.  Given, it was a complete accident, but it still cracked the entire screen to the point it’s not usable.  In the process, she gets a pin prick amount of blood on the tip of her finger, and you would’ve thought somebody just stabbed the poor child.  She needs a Band-Aid, I absolutely have to get her a new iPod Touch because CLEARLY it’s my fault that a) she dropped it, b) Apple didn’t make it with a stronger  screen to begin with, and c) pretty much everything is Mom’s fault, so this must be too.  So, as I am telling her that I am in NO way going to fix it for her, I’m looking online to find the info for Apple repair.  This is otherwise known as “caving”.  I’m famous for this.  Yes, I totally caved.  I started thinking that I had paid almost $250 for this product just 3 short months ago for her birthday.  It’s an investment.  I actually just ordered another one for my soon to be 9 year old for his upcoming birthday yesterday.  I can’t just let it be trash.

However, this behavior on my part has created what looms in my daughter as her sense of entitlement.  I really need to learn to stand my ground.  I have a hard time with that, mostly because I am only with them for such a short time and I want our time together to be as peaceful and enjoyable as possible.    I will be working on that.

And so begins what will be a series of dramatic mornings, that rollover into afternoons and evenings.  This will be the story of my life, so long as she is with me (and probably alot of the time she is not) until she is at least 30.  Thank goodness I’ve only got one girl…so far!