This post is soooooo long overdue. My handsome little man will be 4 months old in just a few hours. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone! It all began about 2:30 a.m. on October 8th. I was fast approaching two weeks past my “due” date, and growing increasingly anxious with each day. Then something started to happen. It all began about 2:30 a.m. on October 8th. I woke up to run to the bathroom in the middle of the night for probably the 9 gazillionth time during this pregnancy. When I laid back down, I thought I felt a slight twinge of a contraction. I figured I was probably just imagining things again, so I forced myself to go back to sleep. When I woke up early the next morning, I was still feeling the same type of twinge…and thinking it might be just a little bit stronger. Hmmm…Is today going to be the day?? I wondered.
I ate some breakfast and went about my day. I tried to work, but I remember being VERY easily distracted. I had some homework that needed to get done, but again…distracted! So, I decided to run out and do a few errands with my mom who was in town, awaiting Tristan’s arrival with me and Tommy. I drove us to Kohl’s and we walked around and did some shopping. I picked up a bunch of stuff for Tommy’s future new home in Afghanistan–sheets, towels, etc. I found a couple of adorable baby outfits that I just had to have for Tristan. Mom picked out a couple of tops for herself. Oh, and I found a great robe that would be awesome for right after the birth. While we were walking around the store I found myself having to pause to breathe a little bit through the contractions. At this point I was sure I was having contractions, but I was still thinking that it was going to stop and not progress.
When we got home, I was putting everything away, and Mom had already volunteered to make dinner-beef and broccoli out of the Weight Watchers cookbook. Tommy had been checking in with me all day via telephone and was home for the day from work. I went into my office to finish up the last assignments for the week for school, all the while having to stop and breathe through those contractions. I don’t remember exactly what I was working on, but I DO remember that I felt a lot of pressure to get it done! I finally finished up the assignment and shut down my laptop for the evening. Mom finished dinner and I was REALLY interested in eating…until I walked into the kitchen. All of a sudden I decided it might NOT be such a great idea to chow down at dinner. So, I retreated to my bedroom and called my midwife instead.
Pam was wonderful. When I called her, she at first told me to call her back when they ( contractions ) got really hard. She was out running errands herself. Then she called me back within the hour (I’d say it was around 7 pm by now) to tell me she could come whenever I was ready. I told her we would call her in a little while. I started to really time my contractions at this point. I was feeling very anxious, not really knowing what to expect. Even though I had three other children, never had I attempted to give birth at home, without an epidural or any other “modern” medical treatments. Tommy was starting to get really attentive towards me and help me through the contractions. Then around 9 pm I asked Tommy to call Pam and let her know I needed her. She was at my house with her daughter and assistant, Muraiha, within 15 minutes. They brought all their equipment in, with Tommy’s help, and began to set up shop in the bedroom. I continued to bounce away on my exercise ball, whilst wearing my snuggie. What a sight I was!
Pam came out and was sitting in the living room, watching me work through the contractions. I remember her telling me to try to relax during the contraction and not tense up so much. Boy, that was really tough to do! I had to put all of my effort and concentration into that task. Pam decided it would probably be a while, and she had forgotten her book at home, so she asked if I minded if she ran home to get her book. I was fine with that, and she left Muraiha there to keep an eye on things.
Soon after Pam left, I asked Muraiha to check me. I was really curious as to how far I had come, and how much further I would have to go. By now it was around 10 pm. Muraiha checked me and she said I was around 3-4 cm. Bummer! I decided I needed a good soak in the bath to help get me through the contractions.
Tommy was amazing. He held my hand through the contractions, even through my “death grip”. He heated the water up when I asked, ran and got the fan for me when I got too warm, kept me covered with a warm towel when I got the chills, and continued to time the contractions for me. At this point, timing wasn’t really necessary, but it was helping me to stay in a rhythm and pass the time quickly. Before I knew it, it was 1 am. I had been in that bath for nearly 3 hours! During that time, Pam had come back and was continuing to check the baby’s heartbeat and check in on Tommy and I to see how we were doing. I was feeling a lot of pressure, and the jets were starting to really irritate me during the contractions–both the pressure of them and the noise of them. I decided I was ready to get out! Tommy helped me out and helped me to get dressed. I decided I wanted to bounce on the ball, so he rolled up his mechanic’s stool behind me and applied lots of pressure to my hips and lower back, and was constantly massaging my neck and back in between contractions.
While he and I were in our bedroom “laboring”, my mom, Pam and Muraiha were out in the living room chatting and hanging out. It was so peaceful here at home. There were no intrusions, no loud noises…it was awesome. I wouldn’t have known they were out there if Pam and Muraiha hadn’t been checking in on me every now and again.
I bounced away for quite some time and was getting zero relief between contractions. I was starting to feel a ton of pressure and told Tommy to tell them that it was time to push. Pam and Muraiha came back in to check me. I was at 9 cm finally! Pushing was just around the corner…I was exhausted, but excited at the same time. I started out trying to push on my back, just because that is the only way I knew how.
This was clearly not going to work. Gravity was working against me. I asked Pam if I could change positions. Muraiha suggested hands and knees, kind of like a squat. Tommy supported the front side of me, while Pam and Muraiha applied counter pressure warm compresses with a little EVOO to help me out. That felt AMAZING! I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. It didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere except tired, and fast.
I was getting lots of encouragement from Tommy…”you’re doing great babe…come on, push a little harder…you can do it…” Oh my goodness it was driving me NUTS! I just shushed him…”SSSHHHHHHHHHHH” I kept repeating. He was like, “What?”. I told him to be quiet. He got the picture. I was trying to be as nice as possible. I didn’t want to be the mean, screaming lunatic that is so often portrayed in film and television in birth scenes. And I CERTAINLY didn’t want to remake the scene from The Backup Plan with Jennifer Lopez.
I continued to push and finally felt like I was getting somewhere. I dug my grips into Tommy’s shirt (and apparently his bladder, so he told me later) and pushed with everything I had left. Finally! Tristan was being born!! Tristan entered this world at 3:50 am on October 9th, 2010!
Tommy was still in front of me, and I got myself turned around so he was sitting behind me, supporting me (as he had been throughout this entire labor…heck the entire pregnancy!). Apparently he was snapping pictures too…one of the few men I know who can multi-task!
What a joyous occasion! Every ounce of tired left my body. I was feeling such a rush! I couldn’t believe at the amazing feat my body has just accomplished!
Tommy did his daddy duty and cut the cord…what a beautiful moment.
I delivered the placenta, and in the meantime was attempting to nurse this beautiful little boy.
Afterwards, Muraiha helped me into the shower so I could get cleaned up while Pam, Mom and Tommy got the bedroom cleaned up, bed stripped down and put back together and the laundry started. When I got out of the shower, my room looked like nothing had ever happened. All of Pam’s equipment was even packed up, with the exception of the few items they would need for Tristan’s exam. Muraiha started to do Tristan’s exam once I got myself settled back into my cozy bed.
The exam wasn’t rushed at all…it was so cool to experience birth from my favorite place…my bedroom. I was so excited to find out how big my little man was.
Oh my goodness…my little guy weighed in at 9 pounds! I couldn’t believe it! 9 pounds and not a single solitary tear! Thanks to Pam and Muraiha!!
Once the exam was done, Tommy and I were left to enjoy our new little family, in the peace and comfort of our home. I honestly can’t compare this experience to anything else I’ve ever done. This was Tommy’s first ever birth experience and I have to say he is definitely a home birth advocate now. I would never do this any other way (unless medically necessary, of course) again. I feel somewhat empowered by the whole experience, and I really feel that it brought Tommy and I even closer than we were before. He was my rock during the labor, and I was so impressed with how he was there for me.
Tristan Davis Bowling
Born October 9, 2010 at home
9 lbs, 22 inches